Olive : The Inside Story

first trimester is OVER

2006-12-15T07:15:00.002-08:00

08/17/2005

now that the first scary 12 weeks are behind me, i'd like to start keeping track of my thoughts and feelings as baby a's growth progresses. up to now, things have gone pretty well with a couple bumps in the road. at week 6, we lost baby a's twin. while this has been very difficult to handle, we are concentrating on the fact that baby a is doing very well. we've seen her (i think she's a girl) heartbeat 3 times now, and the last count was 167 a minute. we even got to see her move at the last sono. morning sickness has cast itself as afternoon and evening sickness and began just shy of 7 weeks. it started with metal mouth and quickly progressed to upset stomach and food aversions. it's all good, though...a small price to pay for a lil one.

this has been quite a journey. we became pregnant with baby a through IVF, in a round about way. we went through a fresh IVF cycle back in february, became pregnant, but very quickly lost that pregnancy. from that cycle, we had one embryo that made it to the blastocyst stage and was cryopreserved (frozen. aka totcicle). we began prep to have our totcicle transferred in may and had the transfer on 6/9/05. we got our positive pregnancy test (quantitative HCG) on 6/18.

these days, the changes i'm going through are beginning to become fun. my stomach has been expanding/bloating for a couple weeks now, but just this week, it's begun to itch. on the inside. very strange feeling. the sickness is less this week, but it's still there when i eat certain foods. my clothes no longer fit, and people are starting to look at me funny...as if to say "enough with the krispy kreme". trying to find food that tastes good is becoming an adventure. for lunch today, i roamed randalls and ended up with a hodge podge of items. turns out, none of them tasted all that good ;-)

well, those are my thoughts for the moment. i hope to update this blog a few times a week, but thought i'd better start now before pregnancy brain takes over and i can't remember anything.

End of Week 13

2006-12-15T07:15:00.001-08:00

08/19/2005

it's now the end of my 13th week, and presto whamo, the size 12 jeans now require a rubber band. d'oh! i tried on some borrowed maternity clothes last night, but they're still too big. i think i'm going to be stuck in between for a while yet.

the morning/afternoon/evening sickenss continues to abate and flares up only when i do things like answer a macdonald's craving.

the inside of my tummy continues to itch periodically, and i am still experiencing some growning pains in my "leg joints"...i guess this is due to my ever expanding hips. i hope this part stops soon...i'm starting to look like a pear. while the "girls" are different, they're not exactly caught up with the hips.

well, those are my jumbled thoughts for today. more later.

Week 14

2006-12-15T07:14:00.002-08:00

08/24/2005

we're closing fast on the end of week 14 now, and the latest development is that i can no longer zip my pants. i inadvertently flashed a co-worker monday morning...d'oh! morning sickness has returned some this week, but it's still not as bad as it was in the beginning, and it's interspersed with periods of extreme hunger. i had another randalls moment last night...just went in to get some goodies to share at lunch today, but i came out with much much more. i had to open a box of crackers before i left the parking lot...i couldn't wait to eat them. so sad :-) my water intake has increased dramatically this week, and that's noteworthy b/c i HATE water. it's been no small feat to train myself to drink it at all let alone more than 60 oz of it a day (in addition to milk and other non-caffeinated beverages).

i've begun telling some of my supervisors that i'm pregnant... most reactions have ibeen very positive. i did have one male manager count on his fingers several times and then say to me " know what you were doing in may"...just a TAD awkward. can you say HR moment?!?!?

we have an appointment with our OB tomorrow...will have more to tell then. for now, i'll just concentrate on making speedy vending machine decisions while simultaneously monitoring the progress of my zipper :-)

End of Week 14

2006-12-15T07:14:00.001-08:00

08/26/2005

i had my 3-month OB visit on thursday, and everything is going well. i got to hear the heartbeat again, and it is absolutely mesmerizing. i wish i could listen to it all day! they measured my tummy and took my weight. so far, no one's yelled at me for all the weight i've gained (more than 10 pounds so far), but i figure it's only a matter of time. i'm trying to eat as well as i can, but there are many days that only certain foods taste good, and you guessed it, they're never the most healthful. the only healthful thing i crave in great quantities is milk...i can put down a good 30 oz of skim milk a day. every once in a while, my tummy issues make milk taste terrible, but fortunately, this hasn't been too much of a problem.

i made my "big" announcement at work today, and i got lots of well wishes and congratulations from some very proud and happy daddies. the single guys and the married guys without kids just looked at me funny (the team i work with is 99% men). different strokes for different folks :-)

josh and i are going to hit target and old navy tomorrow to investigate maternity clothes. i've got to find something that fits, doesn't subject me to public indecency, and is somewhat flattering. tall order, i know :-)

middle of week 15

2006-12-15T07:13:00.000-08:00

08/31/2005

ahhh, what a relief it is. here i am in the middle of the fifteenth week sporting some really comfy maternity jeans. these things ROCK. i'm so glad i don't have to deal with rubber bands, falling zippers, or too-tight jeans any more! i am still not big enough for maternity shirts, but it's the pants that matter anyway.

this has been a good week so far...not too different from the last two. my belly's itching again this week, so i figure there's some growing going on. i've also run into some food/smell issues this week that i assumed would magically disappear as soon as i hit the second trimester...no dice :-) tomatoes and oranges are not my friends, but everything else is fair game :-) we are eagerly counting down the days until we have our 20-week sono and can find out if we're having a boy or a girl. i still vote girl :-)

week 16 and most of 17

2006-12-15T07:12:00.002-08:00

09/14/2005

week 16 passed happily and busily with the combination of the labor day holiday and an upcoming deadline at work. now we are heading into the end of week 17, and all is well! i got some additional maternity pants, and they've come in very handy. i'm just about to the point that i'll need to start wearing maternity shirts, but for the short-term, the larger/longer of my regular shirts still work.

as time marches on, i'm having fewer "bad tummy" days and am finding that i'm able to eat a larger variety of foods. i still have one or two icky days a week, but that's a lot better than 5 or 6 :-)

i've also begun to feel a "rumbling" in my lower tummy when i'm very still. i feel it mostly at night when i'm laying sort of on my back (i've configured my sleeping quarters so that i do not lie flat on my back). it's a weird sensation...i'm not entirely sure it's the baby moving, but if it's not, i'm a lil worried that my insides have taken up salsa dancing.

we have our next OB appointment on monday, and i'm dying to hear the heartbeat again! also, since i'll be 17w2d at that appointment, i'll be able to schedule our 20 week sono...YAY! if he/she is cooperative, we should be able to find out if the baby's a boy or a girl at that appt. i cannot wait!

nearing the end of week 18

2006-12-15T07:12:00.001-08:00

09/23/2005

it's just about the end of week 18, and things are going great! we had another OB appt. on monday and got to hear the heart beat again. we also got to schedule our 20-week sono, and that's when we'll be able to find out the baby's gender. the baby's heartbeat is still in the high 150s, so i'm still leaning toward girl, but the heart beat really is in the middle of the typical range that is supposed to indicate boy (140s) or girl (160s), so it could go either way. we can't wait to find out...knowing will give our arguments about baby names a whole new meaning ;-p

i'm feeling more thumps and wiggles this week, but still nothing really distinct. i'm sure this'll change as time marches on and the baby gets bigger.

overall, i am feeling really great. the morning/afternoon/night sickness is virtually gone, and i pretty much have free reign on what to eat. i still have some weird food aversions and smell issues, but they're not nearly as bothersome now.

i know the baby is around 4.5 inches long right now, but you'd never know that by looking at me. i'm getting bigger by the day. my regular shirts are no longer an option for the most part, but maternity shirts still look like tents. i'll just think of it as clothing with breathing room ;-p

End of Week 19

2006-12-15T07:11:00.002-08:00

09/30/2005

tomorrow marks the end of our 19th week! one more week until we find out what gender the baby is...WOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

this week's been relatively uneventful except that just when i was going to send an APB out regarding my missing ankles, they returned! i'm guessing their disappearance had something to do with the lovely weather we've had in the last few weeks; nothing like a few 100+ days and high humidity to make a girl feel like the Michelin man. anyhoo, with the advent of the cooler weather, my ankles have returned, and it's good to see them again.

i'm growing like crazy these days. we are planning to do belly pics on a monthly basis, but after a growth week like this one, it's half tempting to do weekly pics just for proof that i'm not crazy and that my clothes are shrinking ;-p i'm starting to notice a pattern...extreme hunger, itchy tummy, and back pain seem to be harbingers of bigness to come. makes sense!

Half Way There!

2006-12-15T07:11:00.001-08:00

10/06/2005

we're almost half way there! saturday marks the end of our 20th week, and that means we've got just 20 more to go until our bundle of joy gets here. i cannot believe how fast this first 20 weeks has gone.

we have just 5 more days until we have the chance to find out if we're having a boy or girl, and we CANNOT wait. this week's been splendid...i am feeling great, and i'm growing like a weed. i am feeling the baby move more and more each day, and i've now completely outgrown my regular shirts.

i know i keep going on and on about how much i love to hear the baby's heartbeat, but i'm going to do it even more now :-) josh rented us a doppler device called sweet beats. it's basically the same as the doppler device our doctor or nurse uses to listen to the heart beat at each of our OB appointments. it came in the mail yesterday, so we had a good time listening to the baby's heartbeat last night. ahhh, what a sweet sound!

my next post will be to announce the baby's gender if he or she is cooperative enough to let us see on tuesday. make your bets now :-)

End of Week 21

2006-12-15T07:10:00.002-08:00

10/14/2005

it's the end of week 21, and it's been a great week! we found out this week that baby a is a girl! wooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo! we had a great time watching her during the sono; she's quite active. she wouldn't sit still enough for the doc to get a close look at all her parts, so we actually have to have another sono in 4 weeks to finish the 20-week checklist. i now have some names/pictures for some of the feelings i've been having. for example, every once in a while, i feel like the bottom is dropping out of my stomach...i realized that this occurs when she's flipping. i had the feeling during our sono, and watched on the screen as she flipped herself over.

on a side note, i am seeing my belly button for the first time in my life :-) i've always had an inny outty (inny with a tiny button way deep inside). well, since my tummy is expanding, my belly button has been stretched enough that i can see into the inny and see what the outty part really looks like. it's no longer a tiny button ;-) it's now more of a stretched and skewed button that lists to the left ;-p i swear this pregnancy stuff is great fun. it's like i am my own museum of science/fun house :-)

end of week 22

2006-12-15T07:10:00.001-08:00

10/22/2005

today marks the end of week 22, and all is well! i'm feeling quite a bit more movement from baby a these days, and am growing quickly. i'm still having a lot of fun noting and marveling at the changes i go through almost daily. my ankles have done a couple more disappearing acts, and i think i've found the culprit(s): chinese food and long hours on my feet. i've also found that putting my "dogs" up for a few hours at night helps tremendously.

josh and i have decided to go with a natural birth, and so we started bradley method classes this week. the first class was interesting, and gave us a chance to get our bearings regarding our thoughts about natural birth. for example, the bradley method is pretty "granola", and some proponents of this method advocate a completely natural birth with no medial intervention. josh and i do not agree with this stance. though we want to go drug free, we do want the monitoring and care that we know we can get from a professional hospital staff. similarly, i will be taking my doctor's advice throughout the labor and delivery. if he (or she in case my doc's not on call the day baby a wants to get here) makes the determination that the baby and i need more intense medical intervention to remain safe, i'm not going to argue.

got milk?

2006-12-15T07:09:00.001-08:00

10/29/2005

today marks the end of week 23, and it's been a great week, though i'm happy to see it end b/c work's been kicking my arse. the developments this week are a bigger tummy and lots more movement from baby a. i am starting to be able to feel her movements on the outside, which is SO cool. shouldn't be too long (prolly this weekend) before dad can feel her too.

we had our second bradley class this week, and it was very informative and enjoyable. i am really glad to be learning techniques to help me have a natural childbirth, but i'm also finding that this class exposes me to much more. our instructor is very friendly, open, and not pushy, but she certainly does make her opinions known. this week's side topic was breast feeding and discussion of la leche league. as soon-to-be parents, we are both adamant that nursing is very important to us, and we will do everything in our power to be successful at it. interestingly, though, i'm finding that our views about nursing are actually very conservative. la leche league is shifting toward educating women about long-term nursing (several years). i know this is not for me (for many reasons), but it's interesting (and, i'm sorry, rather entertaining) to hear others' perspective about this subject. i learn something new every day.

this week also marks an almost-milestone birthday for me. my 34th is coming up on monday, and this is the last birthday where i don't technically have to worry about my fertility (ha!). 35 is the biggie; this is the one where your obgyn starts to look at you funny if you mention conceiving. apparently, a woman's fertility does some whacky stuff around/after 35. and, apparently the risks for certain birth defects go up dramatically after 35. i hope my body is lazy/behind/doesn't know it's nearly 35...i'd like a year or so to spend with baby a before i start thinking about baby b ;-p

end of week 24

2006-12-15T07:08:00.000-08:00

11/05/2005

today marks the end of week 24, and this week has been great! dad now can feel baby a move! we were practicing some of the deep breathing techniques we're learning in our bradley classes, and since dad's hands were right on my tummy, he got to feel our lil one doing her evening aerobics. his responses were pretty funny; deep breathing went right out the window with exclamations of "oh!". speaking of aerobics, i am able to feel baby a move almost all the time now, and it's a great feeling! i don't think i'll ever get tired of it.

we're continuing to enjoy our bradley classes and to learn something new each week. this week's topic was about the pros and cons of a medical birth versus a natural birth. discussion got a tiny bit contentious when i repeatedly stated that my biggest concern with a completely natural birth (no medical personnel/no hospital) was handling any emergencies that come up. i figure it's prolly best to just agree to disagree :-) our instructor showed us a video on natural birth, and at the end of the video, there was a script that stated (paraphrasing) that the violence in our world is caused by medical births in which the medical staff intervenes and does not allow the birth to progress naturally. i had to giggle at this one (actually, i had to exercise enough self control to keep from bursting out in full out laughter during the deep breathing exercises that followed the video). i mean c'mon...third world countries that have a much higher incidence of violence also have outdated medical facilities that are unable to provide medical intervention during birth.

anyhoo, that's all for this week. we're having technical difficulties with our latest round of belly pics, but will try to get them up soon.

end of week 25

2006-12-15T07:07:00.002-08:00

11/11/2005

tomorrow marks the end of week 25; man, i can't believe how time is flying! i'm feeling really good, and our last appt. went very well. the dr. was finally able to finish baby a's 20-week parts checklist. she got a gold star for everything except gender ;-p the doc told us not to bet 100% on baby a being a girl b/c he was unable to verify her gender (she was doing a jig throughout the sono again). it's all good. i still believe she's a girl, and even if she isn't, that's great too. we're happy to have whoever's in there :-)

our bradley class was once again interesting and informative this week. things are moving at a fast clip here too. our next class will be all about the first stage of labor...EXCITING!! and, it'll be all the more exciting because some friends of ours, who will be in class with us this week, aren't all that far from their baby's arrival, so weâ€™ll soon be hearing from them what the first stage of labor is like!

rib ticklin' good!

2006-12-15T07:07:00.001-08:00

11/18/2005

tomorrow marks the end of week 26, and it's been another great week! well, mostly great. i haven't been paying very close attention, and i neglected to notice that my rings were getting very tight. i ended up having to have my engagement ring cut off and to get professional help to remove my wedding band. gone are the days of my 4.25 ring size. i bought a gaudy bauble to wear in place of the rings for the next few months, and i bought it several sizes too big so that i don't get "stuck" in the same situation again ;-p

so, other than the jewelry woes, it's been a great week. i think i'm growing again b/c i can't get enough to eat and my middle back's been aching a bit. my blood pressure is coming down some and returning to my usual "clinically dead" level. while my docs have been VERY happy with my blood pressure, it's been weird for me to see myself stray from my typical 90/60. i had my first and only during-preggers dental visit this week too -- that was a shocker. i didn't know that pregnancy hormones can wreak havoc on my gums. and, they are. i'm having to step up the dental routine to avoid long-term effects, but it's all good...one more badge of honor :-)

this weeks' been FUN in terms of baby a! she's now sticking her feet (i think) into the ribs on my right side, which is a hilariously strange sensation. i feel her do this several times a day, and i have the urge to push back on my ribs, but i try to refrain. i figure she's doing a bit of yoga, and i should be accommodating.

our birthing class was very interesting this week. we covered the first stage of labor, and it was fascinating. our instructor aptly compared it to climbing a mountain (or performing any other endurance event), so she's speaking my language. not that i'm even remotely athletic these days, but pre-preggers, i enjoyed a good race/challenge, so i think that will help me anticipate and pace myself for the pain i'll be enduring. i hope ;-p

in other news this week, i found out yesterday that baby a is about to gain a grandma! congratulations to bob and sandy!!!!

end of week 28

2006-12-15T07:06:00.000-08:00

12/02/2005

this week marks the end of our 28th week, and we're now into our third trimester. last week was very busy with thanksgiving festivities, and oh what a thanksgiving it was...great food, great company, and a LOT to be thankful for!

new developments these past two weeks include a bigger baby and a bigger tummy. baby a now kicks so hard that she sometimes makes ME move. it's rather funny :-) i got my first four stretch marks sometime in the past couple weeks...YAY :-) also, i now feel her feet in my ribs pretty much constantly, and yeah, i still like it. i might change my mind in a couple weeks, but for now it's still just plain fun. we will embark upon registering for supplies for baby a soon, and i know that will be a ton of fun. dad has made good progress on the home renovations he's doing to get ready for baby a's arrival, which is very exciting.

we do our GD screen next week, and we're hoping it comes up negative. i don't have any crazy cravings per se, but sweets are high on the list. giving them up would be hard to do!

our bradley class is marching right along. this week, we talked about birth plans. we've made our preliminary stab at the birth plan, which was fun and enlightening. it's ever so slightly intimidating to think about the decisions we might face and anticipating making them well. the birth plan certainly is a great way to keep track of our feelings since we'll be a little overwhelmed with new feelings when the labor is actually in progress.

End of Week 30

2006-12-15T07:05:00.002-08:00

12/16/2005

this saturday marks the end of week 30!!! baby a, and my tummy, are getting bigger by the minute. i'm very close to having a "shelf" at the top of my stomach, and my "used-to-be-an-inny" belly button is on the verge of popping :-) since baby a is growing bigger and bigger all the time, she's running out of real estate. her movements have become more subtle in some ways. for example, while i can feel her stretching and moving almost all the time, i don't feel sharp kicks or pokes as much now. her newest "trick" is to step on my bladder. this one's fun...especially when i'm not anywhere near a rest room :-) fortunately, she doesn't step on it for long stretches; it's more like she tap dances on it :-)

dad has finished the renovations in baby a's room, and now we're ready to decorate it and get it set up for her. so far, the only items of hers that are in the room is a swing and a dresser. i can't help but spend time looking at that swing and imagining baby a in it...that's about the only time i find myself wondering what she looks like. for some reason, i haven't yet gotten "hung up" on trying to figure out what she'll look like. this is prolly due to the fact that her dad and i "look alike". we have the same color hair and eyes, so it will only be as she grows up that we'll be able to pick out whose features she has since her coloring will prolly look just like both of ours :-)

immediate update: i just felt baby aâ€™s foot for the first time! she stuck it out just below the ribs on my right side, and when i touched it, she stuck it out even more! how cool!!!

end of week 32

2006-12-15T07:05:00.001-08:00

12/30/2005

tomorrow marks the end of week 32! we have only 8 weeks to go until baby a is "scheduled" to be here (we'll see how she feels about schedules :-).

the past two weeks have been fun-filled and busy with holiday festivities and lots of growth for me and baby a. i've outgrown almost all of my maternity clothes, and since working in the buff isn't an option, we're going to hit some stores this weekend to see about getting some bigger duds. right now, i am regularly flashing my landscape of stretch marks. yes, i get some weird looks :-)

other than our rapid growth in the past couple weeks, the latest developments are more rolls, punches, and kicks from baby a. i spend a lot of time watching my tummy. we tried the flashlight trick, and it's working...she'll give a couple kicks whenever we put the flashlight on my tummy. last night, she spent some time kicking my hand whenever i put it down on my tummy...that was fun!

end of week 35

2006-12-15T07:04:00.002-08:00

01/20/2006

tomorrow marks the end of week 35...just a few more weeks to go until she gets here!!! it's been a while since i visited this blog...been busy! lots has happened in the last few weeks. most importantly, baby a has continued to grow and thrive...she's got most people wondering if i'm joking when i say i have 5 weeks to go :-) in the mean time, i had a brief spell of high blood pressure that resulted in my going p/t at work (darn). since then, the bp has come back down to normal (with schedule changes, dietary changes, and an increase in water intake). the latest development (besides getting to watch her almost all the time now b/c she's so big) is that i've developed PUPPS. this lovely pregnancy "feature" is characterized by an intense itchy rash on my tummy. it will most likely go away once baby a is born. in the mean time, i have to concentrate on not scratching my tummy and on trying to find a lotion or soap that gives me some relief. so far, the best solution is to slather myself with olive oil. sounds gross, i know, but it WORKS. it's just not conducive to wearing clothing...have to find creative ways not to stain my work clothes (i borrow dad's older undershirts...the ones that already have holes and paint stains on them :-).

another big development in the past few weeks is that some wonderful friends and family threw a great baby shower for us! with everyone's generosity (including donated items from friends and co-workers), baby a is SET! the nursery is well stocked, though it's not organized yet. it's so much fun to walk into that room, see all the adorable baby stuff, and anticipate baby a using all of it. this child (and her parents) will want for NOTHING in the next several months :-)

we're now done with our bradley method classes, have scheduled our prenatal visits with our doula, and will be attending an infant first aid/CPR course soon. the last big item on our list of preparations is to pack our bag for the hospital. this is a daunting task since our bradley work book discusses items such as food and drink...eww :-) we'll just have to wing that one.

She's Here: Our Not-So-Bradley Birth Story

2006-12-15T07:04:00.001-08:00

02/07/2006

Olivia Grace arrived a little unexpectedly on 01/29/06! Olivia's doing very well despite being 4 weeks early and enduring a rather traumatic birth. our little lovely was born by c-section at 2:30 in the morning on 01/29/06. she weighed in at 6 lbs 1 oz and was 19 and 3/4 inches long. and, she is BEAUTIFUL.

our not-so-bradley birth story begins on 01/27/06. i had been feeling poorly since wednesday, having a bad headache and just plain feeling off. i had gone to the fitness center at work on wednesday and thursday to have my bp taken...both days it was slightly elevated, but not alarmingly so. on friday, i woke up feeling GREAT...no headache and no malaise. but, just to be on the safe side, i went to have my bp tested around 10 in the morning while i was on break from the software class i had been taking all week. my bp was SKY high...i immediately called my doctor and was told to come to the office ASAP. at the office, i was diagnosed with severe pre-eclampsia and hospitalized immediately. after the hospital staff assessed my condition and got me started on the right IV meds to ensure we'd both be safe for the time being, my ob/gyn induced labor around 5 p.m. on friday. he started the induction process with an insert called cervidrel. the purpose of the insert was to soften the cervix and allow it to dilate. for most people, this insert does not start labor, but it did for me. the labor was very mild though...i was having contractions every couple minutes, but they were very mild and really not much more than a bad period cramp. around 3 in the morning on saturday, the nurses started my pitocin drip. things got a little wilder after this. we had decided to go with a natural (drug free (ha!)) labor when we were about 4 months pregnant (took bradley classes to learn how to do so), so at this point, i was still laboring without pain meds. around 8:30 saturday morning, my doc broke my water. labor got a little hairy after this, but i was still finding it tolerable. the contractions were regular and strong, but i was dilating extremely slowly. by 3 p.m., i was only 5 centimeters. i was very discouraged at this point and told my husband that i was starting to think that a c-section might be our best bet. he coached me through this, reminding me that the dilation really had progressed well considering that everything was induced. by 7 p.m., i was dilated to 7 cm, and by 9, i was dilated to 8 cm. at this point, my OB said he thought we'd be having the baby by midnight since the dilation from 8 to 10 cm typically progresses the most quickly. the doc checked me again at midnight, and i was still 8 cm dilated, and my cervix had begun to thicken instead of thin...i had gone from 90% effaced back to 50% effaced. at this point, my OB suggested i get an epidural to help my body relax and hopefully finish its dilation. after talking this over with my husband and our doula, we decided to proceed with the epidural. things were getting a little sticky for me. olivia was still doing great...showing no signs of distress through all of this...but i was spiking a fever and my blood pressure was still high. i had also developed the pre-eclampsia headache again (it had gone away earlier in the day). although i was scared to death of it and, on certain levels, morally opposed to the epidural, i have to admit that it was a miracle drug. with it, i got the best sleep i'd had in months and my outlook improved greatly...i was sure i'd wake up from my "nap" to find that i was fully dilated and ready to push. no dice. when the doc checked me again at 1 a.m., he found that i was still 8 cm and 50% effaced...it was time to move on to our last option: a c-section.

it took an hour or so to get my epidural changed to a block, get down to the OR, and get prepped. the surgery stared out uneventful except that the "curtain" they put between me and my belly and the arm restraints they put me in left me feeling panicked and claustrophobic. i assumed that this is why, when they took olivia out, i could concentrate on her cry for only a moment before i began to feel like i was going to pass out and vomit simultaneously. i managed to hold on to my sanity long enough to gaze into olivia's eyes and rub noses with her as her dad held her out to me, but as soon as they walked away, i lost it. i had to ask the anesthesiologist to give me something for the nausea...he did so quickly, and then slapped a mask of pure oxygen on my nose and mouth, telling me i would need it until my bp came back up. i was too out of it to question why my bp was low. i don't remember too much for a while after this point...i think i must have been in and out of consciousness...i woke to hear my doctor yelling for 4 units of blood STAT and thought that was strange. i woke again later to hear the doc asking the nurses to page additional medical staff before i went out again. i woke again later to hear a lot of yelling and bustling about and realized at this point that my doula was gone. i asked the anesthesiologist for her and he told me they'd had to ask her to leave the OR. this is when i started to piece together what must be going on. i remembered hearing shouts for "suction" and what sounded like a shop vac before olivia was even born...from this, i deduced that i must have been bleeding a lot. i was able to remain alert for the rest of my time in the OR, partly b/c my epidural wasn't working all that swell and i could feel much of the surgery.

it took the docs two hours to put me back together and get the bleeding stopped. basically, my uterus was so tired that it couldn't clamp down and stop the bleeding that naturally occurs after birth and the delivery of the placenta. my doc used a relatively new procedure called a B-Lynch suture to save my life and my uterus. so, right now, i have a trussed up roast instead of a uterus, but hey, i'll take it considering my only other option was a hysterectomy. in time, my "roast" will contract to its normal size and then "unravel" to take up its natural position in the abdominal cavity.

all things considered, my recovery has been swift and uneventful. sunday continued to be a tough day. after receiving 6 units of blood and 2 units of platelets, i was still dealing with very low blood pressure until the evening, but by monday, my bp and other vitals were normalizing. i battled a high fever for a couple days, and had to deal with some icky digestive side effects that are common after an abdominal surgery and especially after receiving some of the drugs they used to try to stop the bleeding, but this issue also resolved itself by tuesday. olivia and i were released from the hospital on friday, 02/03/06. our transition to home life has been great. i have less pain and feel more normal every day. and, best of all, olivia is thriving...she changes every single day. she eats a lot, poops a lot, and keeps us entertained at all times. it's amazing to see the changes and progressions she makes from day to day. this little girl LOVES her hands ...she chews and sucks on them all the time (mostly to tell us she's hungry, but even when she's not, she still plays with them). she had regained her birth weight before we were released and we're eager to see how big she is at her first well baby appointment this week. Olivia is on formula because the surgery, blood loss, and possible hormonal issues have left me unable to nurse her. i am able to pump a little milk to add to her formula, but the likelihood of my being able to nurse her full time is very slim. this, of course, is not what i wanted, but again, i'll take it. she's healthy and happy and that's what matters.

i must sign off now so that i can go snuggle my little angel and watch her grin in her sleep (cutest thing i've ever seen).

more later...including pics of our little lovely.

First Well Baby Check

2006-12-15T07:02:00.002-08:00

02/10/2006

today was olivia's first well-baby check outside of our hospital stay, and she passed with flying colors! she's gained 9 oz in her week at home and her mild jaundice is now resolved (on her own, too!). the doc did her follow-up heel stick for the state mandated tests, which was hard for us to witness, but she handled it like a pro...she even fell asleep seconds after the heel stick.

olivia's first week home has been great. she's a very easy baby 99% of the time. she does have her days and nights confused, which is a little hard on the 'rents, but we're not arguing. we figure it's only a matter of time before her schedule changes again and we end up missing our night-time bonding with her. she's endured three sponge baths administered by us, and she's endured several botched diaper changes that resulted in a full wardrobe change (think no diaper + pee pee time). even with all this, she barely complains. i'd have to say that the only thing that gets her upset is a late meal and/or mommy eating spicy foods that upset both of our tummies (oops).

olivia's dad has created a web site all about her: www.oliviagraceanderson.com. we'll be adding pics and text to this web site, and i'll continue to update this blog. please forgive the overlap...i'm a writer and dad is not (he's the photographer), so it works out well for us to each have our own venue to express ourselves about our little angel.

Got (More) Milk?!

2006-12-15T07:02:00.001-08:00

02/15/2006

olivia's 2 and half weeks old now, and she's changing every day. she's growing so fast that even we can tell the difference even though we see her every day. she smiles a lot, but we're definitely seeing a correlation between the smiles and certain output modes :-) but, we enjoy those smiles nonetheless. also, she's begun to track our movement this week, which is awesome! she's going through her 3-week growth spurt a little early too...she's been cluster feeding at least 2x a day...putting down 6 to 8 ounces in an hour or two (we keep thinking she's going to fill to overflowing, but it hasn't happened yet).
unfortunately, the nursing thing has come to a screeching halt b/c of an infection i contracted in the hospital, but hopefully that will be resolved soon and, in the mean time, i'm still pumping like a mad woman. it's just a matter of time before the two of us get all this hospital ickiness behind us and can move on to bigger and better things!

daddy's time at home with us will end this week. next week will be full of new challenges as we figure out how to have some sort of schedule for all the things we need to accomplish each day (dealing with pumping and feeding as separate entities presents a challenge), but i'm sure we'll do alright and we'll both look forward to daddy coming home each evening!

Wintering at St. David's?

2006-12-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

02/18/2006

so, it seems as if my hospital stay will never end. after being hospitalized twice this week in attempt to knock out this crazy infection, i am finally home for good with some home healthcare to keep me here. i DO NOT like to be away from my angel, and i'm glad to not have to do so anymore (at least not against my will and/or for medical reasons). i'm now sporting a hep lock and josh's been trained on how to administer my meds, so we should be good to go!

olivia is doing SPLENDIDLY. this little girl can put down some food. i have a sneaking suspicion that she's going to be one of those kiddos that goes on baby cereal a little earlier than most. it's a blessing in disguise that i'm unable to nurse her b/c there's no way i'd be able to keep up with her. she's eating well over 20 oz a day now, and she is still cluster feeding a couple times a day. we're impressed :-)

olivia's beginning to respond to her toys and to us more, which is incredibly rewarding. she makes eye contact with me during her feedings now, and she even seems to look from eye to eye, checking me out. olivia's alert times are getting longer and more frequent too. i'm constantly amazed at how fast she changes and grows! dad's posted some new pics on oliviagraceanderson.com; check 'em out!

Most Recent Weigh In

2006-12-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

02/21/2006

olivia is weighing in around 8.6 pounds now!!! daddy weighed her with her t-shirt and diaper on, so it's possible that this number is a little off, but there's no doubt she's getting big!

today was our first day on our own. it went pretty well except that i inadvertently spilled a bottle on her while trying to feed her (hadn't tightened it well enough after opening it to let air out after heating). ugh! as always, olivia was very patient through this ordeal.

good news...i am in the clear to begin trying to nurse olivia again! we're using the SNS method to get back to nursing mode. i'm also taking an herbal combination in hopes of increasing my milk supply. only time will tell if these things will work, but i'm hopeful (and olivia's patient).

more later...must get a nap in before my all-nighter shift starts (last night, she was up for almost 3 hours during the night).

One Month Old!!!

2006-12-15T06:58:00.000-08:00

02/28/2006

olivia will be a month old tomorrow! man, the time is flying! she's over 9 pounds now, and she's getting stronger and more alert every day. at the beginning of this week, olivia developed a "pattern" of being awake most of the day. this is fun, but also challenging b/c now mommy can't get anything done around the house. we're still working out sling issues...maybe once we have that under control, we can do stuff around the house together. but, for now, my job is to entertain the little lady. she's enjoying her einstein mat more and more. tonight, she got some really good tummy time in and was able to lift her head and neck for 30 seconds at a time. wow! she's also looking at herself in the mirror now, and she seems to be batting at some of the toys hanging off the einstein mat, but we're not sure. she's grinning more and more in her sleep...i think it's just a matter of days before she does it when she's awake. when she's asleep/dozing, she'll grin when i talk to her or when i rub her little cheeks. it cracks me up! olivia is still eating A LOT, and we're pretty sure that she's going to end up doubling her birth weight by her 2-month checkup if she continues at this pace. she's eating well over 30 oz a day now, and several of those feedings still occur in clusters.

it looks as though month 2 will be free and clear for me. i am no longer sporting a hep lock, and i'm now done wih my IV antbiotics and i am feeling great. last week was a long week of trying to figure out how to time pushing my meds, pumping, feeding, and changing the little lady, but somehow we worked it out. olivia and i worked together to pull one of my catheters out, but considering that i had one in for 10 days, this isn't bad. all in all, this is an experience i do not wish to repeat!

olivia and i will have a big day tomorrow. it'll be our first day of spending most of our time outside the house. miss olivia has to accompany me to the dr. for one more round of testing to make sure the infection is gone, and then later in the day, we're off to get our car seat set up checked to make sure it's correct. it should be interesting to see how we do! olivia made a trip to temple with me and her daddy over the weekend, but it's much easier to travel with her when there are two of us; one to watch over her, and one to drive :-)

10 Pounds!!!!

2006-12-15T06:57:00.002-08:00

03/07/2006

as of today, our little lady is weighing in at 10 pounds! she's gained 3 pounds and 15 oz in 5.5 weeks!!!

olivia's been alert and playful for the majority of the past two days. her smiles are getting more and more frequent, and she's holding her head up really well. she can easily pick up her head and neck to change her head position when she's reclining on one of our chests. also new this week is that olivia is becoming more particular about where she is...she prefers to be held most of the time, so the bassinet and swing are not as helpful. we did discover this week that she enjoys riding around in a snugli front carrier. olivia and i went grocery shopping with dad on sunday and did some chores together yesterday and today with her supervising from the snugli. we're borrowing this one from auntie christina, but she's going to need it back soon since banjo will be making his debut on friday. olivia and i are going to hit target.com and get our very own snugli in PINK. :-)

also new this week is that because she's now more alert, olivia is waking herself up at night with her arm and leg movements. so, we're back to swaddling her in her miracle blanket (thank you auntie jen!!!). this works pretty well...it takes her about 4 hours and a bout of extreme hunger to work her arms out :-) i have a feeling that it's going to be only a few more weeks before olivia is swaddle-proof. we'll cross that bridge when we get to it :-)

daddy is battling some technical difficulties with our latest pics of olivia, but check back at oliviagraceanderson.com soon for updates. there are some great pics of olivia hangin' out with her buddy mckenna!

Sad Baby!!

2006-12-15T06:57:00.001-08:00

03/16/2006

poor little olivia's been quite under the weather this week. after several days of non stop messy diapers including a couple with some alarming contents, olivia visited dr. ho on wednesday and was diagnosed with a milk protein allergy. she's now on special formula, and hopefully she'll be on the mend soon. today, we spent the day cuddling and rubbing lotion on her sore little bum. this allergy came on seemingly quickly, but now that i have time to sit and think about the past couple weeks, i realize she's been showing some symptoms for a while. olivia's had an incredible appetite since birth, but in the last week or so, she has been eating almost non stop (just about every hour to an hour and a half). for infants, a ravenous appetite can be a sign of tummy trouble b/c they confuse tummy pain with hunger. of course, now i think i should have realized this sooner. olivia also developed some mild colic-like symptoms last week, but i chalked them off to the six-week fussies that everyone's warned me about. basically, i'm nominating myself for the "worst mother of the year award". i'm just glad that she's gotten the help she needs and will soon be on the mend.

on a more positive note, olivia's begun playing with us in the past week or so. of course, at her tender age, playing means she pays attention to the toys we show her and follows them with her eyes. we still find this incredibly exciting :-) when she's feeling well, olivia's also very alert for most of the day now. this is great b/c it gives us much more time to interact!! we also spend a lot of time hanging out with our buddies, auntie danielle and olivia's buddy, mckenna. the girls have been known to dress alike and pose for cute pictures :-) funnily enough, they also seem to do other things together like cry or make dirty diapers :-) secretly, we think they are competing to see who can come up with the best diaper blow out >:-)

also on a positive note, olivia is now up to 10 pounds and 10 oz. dr. ho was quite impressed with her growth as were we :-)

olivia and i survived our first two nights alone without daddy last week too (it's been a big week). daddy went off to seattle to interview for a job with microsoft, so we held down the fort together for a couple nights. they were rough nights since those two days were the peak of olivia's non stop eating pattern, but we made it through. everything works out for a reason...microsoft is not in our future. so, now we are focusing on finding a new house here in austin where there's a little more access to parks and walking paths. right now, we have to walk on some really busy streets to get to a good playground. also, we may have the opportunity to live very close to aunt danielle, uncle dirk, and mckenna, which will be so much fun!!

daddy finally got olivia's web page updated. check out oliviagraceanderson.com.

Two Months Old!!!

2006-12-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

03/29/2006

today is olivia's 2-month birthday! she passed her two-month well-baby check with flying colors. olivia's taking shape...and the shape is round :-) our little lovely scored in the 75th percentile for weight (12 pounds), 45th percentile for height (22 inches), and 50th percentile for head circumfrence (? i forget this measurement). dr. ho remarked at how well olivia tracks people/objects (she was enraptured with dr. ho) and assured us that we don't have to be worried that she's smiling at ansel adams pictures and ceiling fans more often than she smiles at us :-)

olivia's milk allergy issues have settled down, but dr. ho is concerned that she may have acid reflux. we're going to spend the rest of this week and weekend documenting her habits and behavior, and then put her on some acid blockers next week. if we see a difference in her personality/behavior, we'll know for sure that she's suffering from acid reflux. even though she's showing some subtle symptoms, it's still hard to confirm that reflux is what's got her eating every hour to an hour and a half, standing up in our laps, and fussing when we lay her down after she eats.

the two-month checkup comes complete with four SHOTS. omigod that was hard to watch. olivia handled it pretty well, but i'd rather not EVER hear that particular cry again. it was all i could do to not start bawling myself. olivia calmed down pretty quickly, and now she's snoozing in her swing all wrapped up in her miracle blanket (thank you auntie jen). so far, she's fever free and relatively unscathed. hopefully, she'll sleep off the icky feelings and be back to her sunny self tomorrow.